A survivor's account of sexual abuse beyond the screen

In January, I got a call from the Red Dot Foundation, a Non-Governmental Organization based in India. They wanted to know whether anyone I knew was a victim of digital sexual abuse and would be willing to participate in a global documentary about it. It felt like a sign, a chance to finally tell the story I’d been keeping to myself and whispering to only a few close friends for the past several years. Without hesitation, I answered, “I’ll do it!”

I have never doubted that what happened to me was not my fault. I was fourteen years old and had no idea how social media worked, let alone owning an account. I was blindsided when a senior at school received texts on Instagram about me, with the other person talking about my body and me as if they’d witnessed me in ways no one ever had, done things to me that, in reality, no one had even come close to doing. I was ashamed for a long time, yes. But I was never guilty. I was an innocent victim of something I had no control over, and I believed that from within.

Unfortunately, I know many others are not that lucky. Survivors are often made to feel embarrassed and guilty by people around them, by the perpetrators, and even by the law. They must understand that speaking up  does not  make them the ‘bad guy.’ There will always be people who will believe them, relate with them, and empathize with their experiences. And that is what led me to share my story as a survivor.

I said this at the film launch in London, and I will say it repeatedly – the entire process of making the documentary felt like a warm hug. I was understandably apprehensive at first. Being from a small town, I had little exposure to social work or opportunities like this. But my fears were instantly allayed when we started outlining the action plan for the film. The Brave Movement team repeatedly reassured us (the survivors) that this documentary would be an honest portrayal of our reality. There will be no dramatics for the camera no unrealistic cinematographical expectations.

We were informed that we would get the support we needed, but nothing would be pushed onto us. That idea of autonomy is quite crucial. As I began writing a script, I felt at ease and confident in my convictions, and six months later, I felt the same way as I participated in the panel to introduce the documentary. What was most surprising to me was that the filming of my section of the film was done in my home and surrounding aesthetic landmarks. That highly speaks to the Brave Movement’s commitment to putting survivors first and at the center. As a Psychology student, keeping track of mental wellness is very important.  The Brave Movement also provided us with sessions with a trauma specialist at any point throughout the process (and even after) to ensure that we had a safe and trauma-informed space to regulate any triggers that may come up as we shared our stories.  I felt supported by the Brave Movement throughout the whole process, including regular check-ins from staff who are also publicly declared survivors.

Survivor-centered conversations are happening more and more as society begins to understand the gravity of childhood sexual abuse. But from my experience, the Brave Movement lives its survivor-centered approach mission. Through the guidance of its fourteen  Survivor Advocates Globally Empowered (SAGE) co-founders, These survivor advocates have accomplished what is, in my opinion, the most crucial step in fighting against child sexual abuse by uniting against perpetrators. Moving from a place of ‘bystander’ to a position of ‘ally’ is precisely needed to start seeing change. It will not come easy, and it will probably take years to get to even an arbitrary notion of a safe society. But it is a start and a very good one at that. I believe that the efforts of organizations and governments worldwide will culminate in positive results. My engagement with the Brave movement is my first step toward contributing to that effort.

Creating a community that is so non-judgemental and welcoming is an arduous task. Expanding it to a global phenomenon is even more challenging. I am, and always will be, a proud Brave member. And I hope you will join us on the journey if you need to.